오픽 준비생입니다.아래의 두 글이 문법적으로, 미국식 회화적으로 자연스러울까요?? [공원/해변/캠핑/조깅에서 문제/경험]Looking back, I remember an unexpected accident at the beach.At first, everything was perfect, I was just jogging along the shore, enjoying the breeze.Then, I stepped on a jellyfish and felt a sharp sting in my foot.I quickly asked a nearby lifeguard for help.They rinsed the wound and took me to the hospital.It was tough, but I got treated and fully recovered.Since then, I always wear aqua shoes when jogging on the beach.If it happens again, I know I can handle it better.[장소 경험/문제->공용으로 답변 가능한 답변]Well, thinking back, there was a time when I had an unexpected experience at [장소].At first, everything was going well, I was just [행동] and enjoying the moment.But as I was getting up, I tripped and fell. I got a hairline fracture in my leg and was completely shocked.I had to think quickly, so I called 911 for help.It wasn’t easy, but in the end, I was taken to the hospital and received proper treatment.Thanks to that experience, I now know how important it is to always be careful.If the same thing happens again, I’m confident that I’ll be able to handle it better.* [행동]커피를 마시다 → just drinking coffee술을 마시다 → just having a drink영화를 보다 → just watching a movie콘서트를 보다 → just watching a concert

두 글 모두 문법적으로 큰 오류는 없지만 자연스러운 미국식 회화적으로 몇 가지 수정하면 더 매끄럽게 들릴 수 있어요.

첫 번째 글 (해변에서의 경험)

자연스럽게 수정한 포인트:

- “Then”을 “But then”으로 변경 → “Then”만 쓰면 단순한 순서 나열처럼 들릴 수 있어요. 대화체에서는 “But then”이 더 자연스럽고 드라마틱한 느낌을 줍니다.

- "suddenly" 추가 → 예상치 못한 상황을 강조하기 위해 추가하면 더 자연스러워요.

- “If it happens again” → “If it ever happens again” → 원어민들은 “ever”를 넣어 더 강조하는 경우가 많아요.

- 마지막 문장 "I know I can handle it better" → "I know I’ll handle it better" → 미래에 대한 확신을 나타낼 때는 “I’ll”이 더 자연스러워요.

두 번째 글 (공용 템플릿)

자연스럽게 수정한 포인트:

- “I got a hairline fracture in my leg” → “ending up with a hairline fracture in my leg” → “end up ~ing”은 자연스럽게 결과를 설명하는 표현이라 원어민들이 자주 사용해요.

- “I had to think quickly” → “I had to think fast” → 구어체에서는 “think fast”가 더 일반적이에요.

- “received proper treatment” → “got proper treatment” → “receive”는 좀 더 격식적인 느낌이고 일상 회화에서는 “got”이 더 자연스러워요.

- “If the same thing happens again” → “If something like that ever happens again” → “the same thing”보다 “something like that”이 더 원어민스럽고 자연스러워요.